Tell Me Everything Read online

  Jake finished the Scotch he’d ordered and motioned for the server to bring one more. “How does it normally work for you?” he said to Will. “If you don’t mind us asking.”

  Will sat forward and rested his forearms on the table. We leaned in closer, too. This was not the kind of discussion we wanted anyone to overhear. “Like I said,” he explained, “it’s not something I’ve done a lot, but the few times I have, it works pretty much what we’re doing tonight. We meet, we chat, we see if the chemistry is there—”

  “It’s there,” I said. Again, emboldened.

  “Yeah, it is,” Will said. He looked at me, appreciatively, and then I felt him lift his foot, rubbing the side of his ankle against mine. I grabbed Jake’s hand and squeezed it. He gave me a quick look, as though to inquire if everything was okay, but then he must have seen the flush of excitement on my face, because he smiled before turning his attention back to Will.

  “And then what?” Jake asked.

  “We talk about boundaries. Things you might draw a hard line at doing in a situation like this.” He paused. “To be clear, I’m only interested in being with Jessica. I’m not bi.”

  “Agreed,” Jake said.

  Will sat back. “It’s important for me to be highly respectful of your relationship. That comes first. If things feel weird in the middle and you need to stop, that’s fine with me. I don’t want to do anything that might damage your marriage.”

  “I appreciate that,” I said, lifting my own foot out of my shoe and using it to touch Will’s leg under the table, which made him smile again. The server brought Jake his second drink, but he barely seemed to register it.

  “Of course,” Will said. “This is an ideal situation for me, because I’m not looking for emotional involvement, and most single women are looking for a husband. But if this is something you’ve decided to explore as a couple, as an expansion of what you already have, together, then I’m honored to be a part of that. You can trust me not to invade your private life, and I would expect the same consideration from you. In fact, I find it works best if we don’t know each other’s last names, or specific places of work. It’s about sex, pure and simple. And if we click, we reach out when one of us feels like doing it again. I’ve also been in situations where I’m with the wife alone, and she goes home and tells her husband about it later, which can be super-hot, if you’re into it.” He shrugged. “Otherwise, it’s no strings attached.”

  Jake and I looked at each other, a silent conversation taking place: Do we do this? Right now, tonight?

  “The band goes on at nine,” Will said, nodding toward the stage closer to the entrance of the bar. “It’s less techno than the Cove. I thought I might ask Jessica to dance with me again. Start there, and see how it goes.”

  “I like that idea,” Jake said, turning so he could give me a quick kiss. He took a sip of his drink and then set it back on the table. “Can you give us a minute?”

  “Absolutely,” Will said. He stood up and excused himself to the restroom.

  “Well?” Jake asked, as soon as Will left. “What do you think?”

  “He seems normal,” I said. My voice shook a little, and so I cleared my throat. “I like him. How he talks about respect, consideration, and discretion.” Jake and I had talked about all of these things over the past few weeks as being vital to any situation we decided to explore.

  “Me, too,” Jake said. “What kind of boundaries do you want to set?”

  “I don’t really know. I mean, I don’t want him to tie me up or spank me or anything. Nothing violent or painful or weird.” I paused. “Do we need to say that?”

  “I’ll say it,” Jake said. “Right now. And talk to him about having to use condoms.” He stood up.

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked. “Totally and completely sure?”

  “I am if you are,” Jake said. “We can stop any time. If it doesn’t feel right, we’ll leave. I’ll make that clear. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He hesitated. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” The word felt small, considering the significance of what we were about to do.

  He nodded, and then walked in the same direction as Will had gone. I sat alone at the table, finishing my vodka and tonic, thinking how surreal it was that my husband was in the bathroom with another man, talking about what kind of sex they were both going to have with me. My body throbbed with anticipation as images flashed through my mind of what might happen next. I never thought I would be able to indulge this fantasy. I never fathomed I’d have a partner in life who would have it, too.

  A few minutes later, Jake and Will returned to the table. The house lights lowered and the band began to play. They had a bluesy, sexy sound—a low, steady drumbeat accompanied by sonorous, aching horns.

  “We’re good?” I asked, as the two of them sat back down.

  “All good,” Will said. He stared at me with such open, hungry intensity, I didn’t know how to respond. The three of us finished our second round of drinks, keeping our conversation light, but when more people arrived and the music made talking more difficult, Will stood up and offered me his hand. “Will you do me the pleasure?” he asked, and I nodded.

  “Wait,” Jake said, as I stood up. I looked at him, concerned, thinking that he might have changed his mind—that he’d realized he would be too jealous to let this adventure proceed past anything more than a dance. But then, he pulled me closer and whispered, “Make sure I can see you.”

  I nodded, and let Will lead me out onto the floor.

  Seven

  Will’s condo was only three blocks away from the lounge, so after an hour of both he and Jake dancing with me, we decided to walk there instead of drive. The two men flanked me as we made our way down the street, no one saying much. We entered his building and walked past the security guard at the front desk. Inside the elevator, Will turned to me and tentatively reached out his hand, pushing a stray strand of hair away from my face. I didn’t get my usual blowout, something Jake had requested. “Your curls make you look a little wild, like you’ve just been fucked,” he told me. “It’s sexy as hell.”

  Now, when Will’s fingers touched my cheek, I sucked in a quiet breath and looked at him. Before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him. His lips were soft and full, and I sighed as he pulled away too quickly. Dancing with them both for an hour, showing off for my husband— and then, when Jake danced with me, for Will—had revved the level of my arousal to a place where I felt almost breakable, like freshly blown glass.

  As we stepped off the elevator and into the hallway, I looked at Jake, whose eyes, once again, were clouded with lust. “Was that okay?” I asked him, still feeling the need to reassure myself that he was comfortable with what we had decided to do. I’d just kissed another man in front of him, and I couldn’t help but think of the fury I would have felt seeing him kiss someone else.

  “Yes,” he said, with enough certainty that I knew it was true.

  “Here’s me,” Will said, using a key to let us into his place. It was a sleek, newer building. Will had told us his company leased his apartment for his stay through the end of the year. He welcomed us into the living room, where I saw a small, but modern kitchen closer to the front door, and a hallway off to the right that led, I presumed, to his bedroom. There was a desk in the living room littered with paperwork and a dual-screen computer, along with a printer and three coffee cups.

  “Do either of you want another drink?” he inquired, but both Jake and I shook our heads.

  Will smiled. “Okay, then. Let’s sit for a bit, maybe?” He gestured to the living room, and Jake and I went to sit while Will picked up a remote control from the counter, turned on some low music, and then joined us on the couch, each of them flanking me, again. The light in the room was dim, with only two lamps on end tables.

  “Beautiful view,” I said, in a shaky voice. I nodded toward the floor-to-ceiling windows leading out to a small balcony, which overlooked the Seattl
e waterfront, including the neon-lit Ferris wheel.

  “Yeah, it’s not too bad for cooperate digs,” Will said. He placed a hand on my thigh, moving the hem of my skirt upward about an inch. He leaned over, moved my hair out of the way, and kissed the side of my neck, gently. When I felt Jake do the same, my breath hitched inside my chest. The sensation of both of their mouths on my skin set my nerves on fire.

  I turned my head toward Will, and his mouth found mine again easily, like he had been kissing me for years. It began softly, just our lips, and it was me who allowed my tongue to dart out and tease his. Jake moved closer behind me, his hands on my waist, and then upward, cupping my breasts as Will continued to kiss me more intently. Will entwined the fingers of one hand in my hair, and moved his other hand back to my lap, where he began to push up my skirt even further, his fingers slipping along my bare inner thighs, lightly teasing. Acting solely on instinct, I straddled him, kissing him more, grinding my hips against his. Jake squeezed my ass, the way he knew I liked.

  “Take me to your bedroom,” I said to Will, finally pulling my mouth and tongue away from his. My voice was husky—demanding. I almost didn’t recognize it as my own.

  Without a word, the three of us stood, and we walked, me in front of both men, Will’s hand on my lower back, gently guiding me down the short hallway into a dark room.

  “Can we turn on some lights?” Jake asked. His voice, too, was deeper than normal.

  Will switched on a bedside lamp, lending enough glow to the room to see each other clearly. I stood by the bed, uncertain, now that I was here, what to do. Questions raced through my mind: Should I undress myself, or wait for them to do it? Who would go first? Would it be awkward for us? Would Jake see me naked with Will and freak out? Would I freak out?

  But then it didn’t matter, because both men moved to stand with me in between them, as I’d pictured they would, with Jake behind me, and Will in front. Jake reached down and pulled my dress off of me, up over my head, and I stood there in the black lace thong and push up bra I’d bought for this specific occasion. Will stepped back and looked me over from head to toe, his eyes moving over my body slowly. Appreciatively.

  “Your curves are amazing,” he said, moving closer, his hands going immediately to the swell of my breasts as he kissed me again. He pushed his hips against mine and I could feel how hard he was. Behind me, I could hear Jake getting undressed, and then felt him behind me, naked, his excitement evident, too. His fingers were on my waist, and then my hips. His right hand traveled to the spot between my legs he knew better than anyone else ever had.

  “Oh god,” I moaned against Will’s mouth, and he answered by moving the hand in my hair from the side of my head to the nape of my neck, where he gathered my curls in a fist and gave them a slight pull backward, exposing more of my neck. His mouth slipped away from mine, down to my collar bone, kissing and lightly grazing my skin with his teeth as Jake dropped to bended knees and began kissing his way up my back, steadying himself by holding onto my waist. When he reached my bra, he undid the hooks, freeing my breasts, which Will responded to by gently squeezing them both, and using his mouth to go back and forth between my already-stiff nipples.

  The heat between my legs was astounding. My heart beat pounded inside my head. I couldn’t think; I could only react. When Will stepped back to undress, I turned around and sat down on the side of the bed, looked up at my husband, and then took him in my mouth, all the way to the hilt, causing his head to roll back and his breath to quicken. I took my time, using my lips and tongue and a little bit of my teeth, the way I now knew he loved it, my hands resting on his thighs. Will came closer to us, standing next to Jake, and it felt natural for me to move my mouth from Jake to Will, vaguely noting that they were different, but about the same size. I went back and forth between them, stroking and sucking, getting wetter by the minute, until I finally let them both go and scooted backward far enough so I could lie down.

  Both Jake and Will stood naked at the edge of the bed, watching me as I reached between my legs and began moving my fingers so they could see how turned on I was.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Will murmured, and then he joined me on the bed, lying on his side, putting his hand on top of mine, helping me. Learning how I liked to be touched. Jake continued to stand, watching us, his eyes focused on what was happening. Will’s fingers increased their pressure, moving more quickly, more intensely, until I finally had to close my eyes and let go, feeling waves of pleasure ride through my body, my skin peppered with chills, my nipples erect.

  “Holy shit,” I whispered after the last spasm hit. I opened my eyes and Will was staring at me, his fingers still entangled in mine, and wet. I took his hand and lifted it to my mouth, gently sucking them clean. When I finished, Will kissed me, tasting me on my own tongue.

  Jake climbed next to us, then, lying on his side, too, and put his mouth next to my ear. “That was so hot, baby.”

  “Good,” I said, then looked at Will. “I need to get fucked.” I’d never said those words to my husband—to any man—but in that moment, they felt right.

  Will got up and opened the drawer in the nightstand next to the bed, pulling out a condom, which he quickly donned before climbing on top of me. I kissed him again. I could feel him moving on my thigh, so I opened my legs, and he got up, remaining on his knees, lifting and bending my legs so Jake could look down and see Will as he entered me. But instead of letting that happen, I suddenly shifted my weight and pushed Will over so he landed on his back, surprising him by straddling his body, resting my palms on his chest. He looked up at me and smiled. “All right, then,” he said. “If that’s how you want it.”

  “Yeah,” I said, firmly, looking at my husband. “That’s how I want it.” Jake sat up, and I reached over and stroked his erection as Will moved his hips so that I could slide down on top of him. The moment Will slipped inside me, I let Jake go, and my eyes rolled back in my head as I began to move my hips, fucking this other man, this stranger, while my husband watched. Another orgasm built quickly inside me, and I leaned forward to let my nipple graze Will’s mouth as I began to fuck him harder, and faster. Jake got on his knees so that his cock was near my face, and I took him inside my mouth again, sucking. I stopped moving my hips, so Will lifted his and began to thrust in a steady rhythm, the motion helping my mouth move on Jake. The tension inside me mounted, until it finally went over the peak and unspooled, sending me into a strong set of muscle spasms that caused me to collapse. Jake slipped from my mouth, and I felt him move again, and get behind me. Will pulled out of me and then my husband entered me, where another man had just been, grabbing my hips. Will shift one of his hands so his fingers were between my legs again, moving them as he’d done before, while Jake fucked me, hard, and I came again, crying out right before Jake did, too. We lay together, unmoving for a moment, until Jake stepped back and it was Will’s turn to flip me over onto my back. He spread my legs, moving his eyes up to my face.

  “Now it’s how I want it,” he said, not waiting for me to reply before he slipped his sheathed cock inside me, cupping his hands on the back of my knees and pushing them so he could get inside me more deeply. Jake lay down by my side and kissed me, putting his hands on my breasts and squeezed my nipples, then put his mouth against my ear.

  “You have no idea how beautiful you are,” he murmured. “You’re a fucking goddess.”

  Will continued to move, speeding up until he tensed and groaned, finishing, and then thrust a few more times before he stepped back, and smiled at us both. “Wow,” he said. “That was amazing. For a first time, especially.”

  “A first time ever, for us,” Jake said, keeping his hands on my body. Making me feel safe.

  “Are you good, Jessica?” Will asked.

  “I’m good,” I said, my breath still a little uneven. I looked at Jake. “For now.”

  Jake smiled, and kissed me, and Will laughed. “My kind of girl,” he said. He turned around and head into the
bathroom, closing the door behind him. The water ran, and I assumed he was washing up.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jake asked me, using one hand to push my messy hair out of my face, as Will had in the elevator. “You’re not freaked out?”

  I shook my head. “It was fantastic. Not that being with you alone isn’t.” I hurried to add the latter statement, not wanting my husband to think even for a moment that sex with him wasn’t enough.

  “I didn’t think that’s what you meant,” Jake said. His face was close to mine, so I kissed him again.

  “I love you,” I said.

  “I know you do,” Jake said, playfully. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

  “Are you?” I still couldn’t quite believe that he wasn’t jealous, witnessing another man be so intimate with me.

  “Very. I’ve never seen you like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know, exactly.” Jake moved a little closer to me, so that the lengths of our bodies were pressed up against each other. “Powerful, maybe?”

  “Thank you.” I liked that Jake saw me as powerful, especially in a situation like this, where it could easily seem like I had been objectified, my body used by two men for their pleasure, alone. But as I lay there with my husband, basking in the afterglow of the most intense and satisfying sexual experience I’d ever had, the truth was, in that moment, it felt more like I had used them for mine.

  Eight

  As I entered my teenage years, I began to notice how little time my parents actually spent together. We were not a family who took trips to Disneyland or Hawaii, nor did my father whisk my mother away for impromptu romantic weekends. Their social life together consisted mostly of occasionally going out for dinner together, usually to celebrate one of my mother’s journal articles being published or one of my father’s patients going into remission.

  “We’ll be back in a few hours,” my mom told me one Saturday evening, when I was fourteen. Her latest research article was being lauded as “a revolutionary theory in the field of quantum mechanics” in her scholarly circles, so my father had made reservations at their favorite steakhouse. My mother wore a black cocktail dress, and had even swiped on a little red lipstick along with her usual mascara. “Be good.”